Friday, October 27, 2006

round and round we go

Has this ever happened to you before?

Someone pissed you off and you stew. You stew and stew and stew to the point whereby you lose track of why you were mad in the first place. Then you are just pissed because your pissed off.

Stupid I know. But it happens to me.
And trust me. Once you are "in the zone", its bloody hard to get out of it.
It's really hard to resist the impetus to be childish and spiteful to remain pissed.


Reasons for "getting into the zone"

1. I didn't get to say what i really thought

2. I had to soften my arguments with tact. And along the way, i piled on so much tact that the whole point got lost on the way.

3. I decide to be nice and be the forgiving party. Until i realize that i'm actually not that magnanimous.

4. i didn't get the apology i was waiting for but only an acknowledgement.

5. I try to exercise patience and wait for the other party to come to their senses. Somehow, the "senses" must have lost their way because the other party usually continues to stick to their guns. I then feel mad for trying so hard to be patient.

7. I'm pissed because i wasted alot of time being pissed. And because of that, I feel stupid and that makes me feel even more pissed.


Trust me. I hate it.

I hate being mad when i've forgotten the reason I was mad.
And logic dictates that if I admit to myself that I have forgotten the reason why i got angry in the first place, then I am stupid to continue to stay mad. I hate feeling stupid so I feel mad that I feel stupid.

(If you didn't get what I just said, try looking up "cognitive dissonance".)

And there we go. Round and round.

I think i need help. Or maybe just a giant bear hug from the offending party.

XxX,

audrey at 16:30

4 lamb droppings