Sunday, March 27, 2005
Im not mad. Hurray!
Hmm..found this test on wan'er blog..decided to give it a try after considering her interesting results. Erm...im glad to announce that i am relatively normal and therefore rather boring and not as mad as i thought myself to be. haha. Looks like i still am quite rational. Hmm..
im not mad. Hmm......
Anyway, my results are as follows (i decided to post them in case u guys thought i was lying when i say that i am really quite sane).
Disorder Rating Information Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal:Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
Okay..in lieu of the favourable results, i shall provide the link so u guys can have a go at it as well :D
Ta daa!
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
XxX,
audrey at 23:15
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
xiaxue?
Okay..i admit...despite my hectic schedule..i could still find time to read some nonsense person's nonsense blog. This said person is xiaxue.
Anyway, considering the fact that kyt recommended tuckermax..and that since i actually like tuckermax, i decided that i should give xiaxue a shot. My decision to visit her blog was also in lieu of the fact that she was mentioned in some newspaper (i got this sneaky suspicion that it prob. was the newpaper)...my voyeuristic tendencies got the better of me in the end.
Anyhow...after browsing thru the site..i decided that it was over-rated. Waaaay over-rated. She just is some rich brat with too much time and money on her hands. Period. I have included a link to her blog anyway...just for those who are
still curious.
Visit tuckermax. It's tons better. And no...i am not only interested in sex, as some have been falsely led to conclude. :P
XxX,
audrey at 23:04
which would u rather?
I love rainy days...the nice weather just makes it so nice to daydream...that said, i came up with
a list 8 of stupid questions while daydreaming. Here goes:
1) Would you rather spend the last day on earth with the most handsome man/woman on earth or the funniest?Ans: I would go for the funnyman. Even though i sincerely appreciate eye candy, i might as well die laughing. Besides, extremely good-lookers tend to have an attitude that you can die for. Literally.
2) Would you rather be born poor but very happy or be very rich but sad?Ans: You can accuse me of just
trying to be politically correct but i'd choose happy over sad, any day.
3) Would you rather be very cold or very hot?Ans: I choose hot. You can look very fat if u wear too many clothes. Heehee!~
4) Would you rather be the giver or taker in a relationship?Ans: Taker. It just requires less effort. Unfortunately, this usually does not apply to me in reality.
5) Would you rather be very good looking but rather lacking in the smarts cum wit department or vice versa?Ans: I'd rather be good looking. Well, first off, i can make lots of money just looking dumb..which is more money than a smartypants can even smell in his life. Second, if i am so dumb, im probably oblivious to the evil comments that green-eyed monsters make anyway, so it wouldn't make much of a difference.
6) Would you rather have a great (and i mean really hot) body but an average look...or fantastic face but lousy body?Ans: I would go for the good looks and skip the va va voom body. Afterall, clothes makes a man..so i can always hide my flaws. Besides, its easier (and cheaper) to go on a diet than plastic surgery.
7) Would you rather be bored out of your skull (as in really really really boooorreeed) or be so busy you cant do much else apart from breathe?Ans: I choose busy. At least i will feel useful. And besides, being bored gives me a headache. I'm serious.
8) Would you rather eat a butterfly or a worm?Ans: Worm, please. Now, people always have the misconception that butterflies are such pretty flying creatures. Helloooo? Wake up!!! It's just a bloody dried worm with wings, long feelers and even longer legs! *puke* So, if i had to choose, i'd rather eat just the worm rather than a worm with long feelers, legs and wings.
Okay...i think we've all had just abit enough of my insanity. Or at least i have..after having to seriously contemplate between eating a worm or butterfly (i still go by my initial choice of worm, in case u were wondering). So tata for now :)
XxX,
audrey at 18:52
Friday, March 18, 2005
a new start
Yoz.
I finally decided that i really didn't want or like miss nosey parker to come sticking her nose and giving comments that i don't really wanna hear anymore so i decided to give myself abit more space and anonymity by shifting my blog address to somewhere she hopefully cannot find. I think somebody really hates me..Oooh.
Why? Am i really that threatening and annoying? Hmmz..
Anyhow..there's some truth in her last comment (and i hope it stays that way.Her comment being the last one she'll ever make, that is. FYI, i deleted her post in a moment of spite) but right now, i really cant appreciate the wisdom of it at all. :P And no, i do not care to repeat what she said. Thank you.
So, i guess u folks who have been alerted about the change are the ppl that i really don't mind letting into my life..honoured? hee!~ I hope i managed to weed out the skunk. :P
Oh, and i finally figured out how to add links. Damn duh..but what the heck.
XxX,
audrey at 21:42
Thursday, March 17, 2005
I have another question.
Okay. For started, this post is not part II of a previous post...so gossip mongers and audrey-haters, you can stop having your panic attack right now. This isn't what you hope it is..
Anyhow..what would you do if someone comes along, makes a nasty reputation-damaging comment , then tries to cover it up by telling you that "it was just a comment" and that i "should not take it to heart"? Now, obviously...the two cannot be reconciled. Would you bash the fellow in the head and tell him to make up his mind whether he wants to be naughty or nice? Or would you just left it pass and hope the silly bugger doesn't open his silly trap again?
As you can tell, im obviously really piqued by this mr/miss anonymous person. Well..since i don't know who u are...although u definitely know who
i am, i guess i can only talk to u abt ur behavior here.
The scales don't balance, but no matter.First off, I appreciate your "concern" but seriously...are u really concerned or just here to piss me off? Becuz I don't think i have friends who are so tactless as to post really personal stuff abt me for the world to see.
Second off, I am really annoyed at you because you choose talk about my personal stuff but yet still want to remain anonymous. Now..that's not really very fair, is it? Its downright sneaky.
Are u afraid i'd slap u if u said it to my face? If that's the case,
maybe you shouldn't say what you want to say in the first place then. I really can't appreciate sneakiness.Anyhow...I'd just like to say that I'm thinking of shifting my blog someplace else soon. I feel that this space has been violated somehow..and i really don't like being censored on my own blog. But maybe...maybe not. All i know is that im freaking irritated right now.
Oh..and i couldn't resist cutting and pasting this post (although it's reaally long) from my friend's blog who got it from his mail...anyhow it's too true to miss.
It echoes my sentiments exactly.Life is the process of finding love;
every person will need to find four people in their life.
First person is you,
Second person is the one you love most,
Third person is the one who love you most,
And the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life with.
In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love most, and learn how love feels.
Because you know how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you most.
When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most.
Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.
Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.
The one you love most doesn't love you.
The one, who love you most, is never the one you love most.
And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most or the one who love you most. She is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.
No person will purposely have a change of heart. At the point in time when she loves you, she really loves you. But when she doesn't love you anymore, she really doesn't love you anymore. When she loves you, she can't pretend that she doesn't. Same goes, when she loves you no more, there's no way she can pretend she loves you.When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you.
You must ask yourself if you still love her,
If you also don't love her anymore, do not keep her just to save your pride.
If you still love her, you should wish her happiness,
And hope that she will be with the one she loves most, not stop her from it.
If you stop her from finding true happiness with the one she loves, it shows you already don't love her,
And if you don't love her, what rights do you have to blame her for a change of heart?
Love is not possessive,
If you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin,
But the moonlight still shines upon you.
In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let her become a permanent memory in you life.
If you really love a person, you must love her for what she is.
Love her for her good points, and the bad,
You can't wish for her to become like what you like her to be just because you love
When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love her,
You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you.
Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criterias.
In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end.
Being away from each other is a type of test,
If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat.
Real love will never become hate.When two people are in love,
They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises.
Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?
Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover.
These swear and promises are useless;
"Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will never change!"
We all know that the sky will never fall;
the ocean will never dry,
Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then?
Be careful when making promises;
don't make promises that you cannot keep.
Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually.
Remember? Swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!!?
In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another;
The one saying, doesn't believe; the one listening, also doesn't believe.In a world so big, which person have you found so far?
And who has found you?
I guess i can say i have ever found my true love before (yes, i am capable of loving someone), but he's forever gone now. So...
XxX,
audrey at 18:07
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Sometimes, things you did in the past return to haunt you in ways unimaginable. Sometimes people who you think are mature turn out to be rather childish in reality. Sometimes, you regret. Sometimes you don't.
Sometimes you regret that you ever regretted. I certainly regret that i ever regretted a certain incident today.
Well, for those who managed to sneak a peak at my last post...lucky you. So now u know a little more about what's going on in my naughtly little head. After contemplating for a bit, i decided that deleting my last post would be a wiser move...it was a little
too controversial. Besides, i don't really wanna to questioned day in day out on who is my favourite mystery person. enuff said.
To me, what is important, is to be able to live life to the fullest and honestly. What i post here may be the truth...or it could just be my random thoughts.
Whatever it is, who are you, Mr anonymous, to judge me? I certainly do not judge you.So, my dear mr anonymous...I certainly don't go around blabbing to
your circle of friends and speculating what sort of taste you have to get married in 6 months...
2 years after everything happened. Maybe you're desperate to settle down becuz u r lonely...and sad..and not because you really love that certain someone. Who knows? You wanna get married, get married. You wanna divorce, go ahead. Want a fling, be my guest.
Wanna tell me how to live my life? First you have to be involved in my life. At least that's how it goes in my book. This is my blog, and i will write whatever i want in it. Don't come and morally high-hand me. If there's one thing i can't stand, it would be people perched on their bloody moral high-horses. You are entitled to your view, and i am to mine. True, certain things are best left alone. And i agree that we should respect the rights of others. But don't come and tell me what i should and shouldn't do. Nobody is perfect...and we should just live and fucking let live.
And more about love...Well...I guess
maybe i should have been born a man. All that self-sacrificing bullshit. Sigh. I just don't quite buy that anymore. Boy, do i sound
jaded..After what i have seen...and been through...i know that every person is ultimately for him/herself. You'd be really lucky if you met that someone whom u can really unconditionally give up everything for...otherwise it's just touch and go.
When is enough enough? How much do you have to give before you know that
that's the limit? Regret leaving him and thus live your life wondering all about the 'what ifs'?
How about regreting wasting your time (youth, money and effort) on a stupid fucking bastard who totally does not deserve you? Even Mr best-boyfriend-in-the-world can cheat on you. So can Mr prince charming and Mr do-no-wrong.
Why do i sound so bitter? I dunno. Disillusioned, maybe. Self-protect mode is "ON".
XxX,
audrey at 21:34
Monday, March 14, 2005
don't mind me..im just ranting.
hi.
The week is finally over. Last week must have been one of the longest weeks in my life. Sigh, and i still have one more week to go before i can relax a little more.
Well, needless to say, all the projects and work has made me very stressed and therefore rather cranky and irritable.
So i'd like to apologise right now before i start my bitching.First off, I want to officially declare that i think
non-smokers who start picking up smoking now are very stupid. No offence, but seriously, why pick up such a habit when the price of cigs are sky rocketing? And
isn't wisdom supposed to come with age? Why start when everyone is trying to quit? I don't quite think there is peer pressure involved when nobody offers u a cig but u choose to ask for one yourself.
*Side note: It's not who u think it is Royston. I have nothing against her.*Yes, as i was saying..it's damn stupid to pick up smoking right now. Smoking is not cool. I think most smokers would agree with me that it is more of a liability than anything else. I mean, u are practically burning ur hard earned money with no apparent benefits. Not even a lousy high. And the worst thing to do is to pretend its a big deal. Bah.
Next up, my friend has just gotten back with her bf. By right, I should be happy for her. Unfortunately, i am not. I feel that she should move on because it just isn't working out.
Isn't it strange that we always try to get what we cannot have? I know that i always want whatever is just out of reach...before i get it, it always seems so perfect...but the minute i lay my hands on it, i decide it just isn't what i want anymore. And the other thing is that I'm angry that her so-called bf has made her a shadow of her former self. Now..why is this the case everytime? Sigh.
I'm beginning to think that love is really stupid. Why can't we fall in love and still be ourselves? Why does every one i know become different the minute they get together with someone? Why do we still do what we do even though we know its not good for us?Sigh.Or maybe im just bitter cuz i don't really know if im in love at all anymore.
XxX,
audrey at 12:27
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
blue is me.
I'd like to announce that my hair is now blue. Bits of it at least. Photo? Hmm..lemme think about installing the additional software...such stuff have a notorious habit of installing adware surreptitously on ur computer as well...
XxX,
audrey at 20:56
Monday, March 07, 2005
ugly ugly ugly
It's been like 2 weeks and i still haven't figured out how to style my hair. I can't decide whether to wear my fringe down, parted to the left, or to the right, slick or curly. So i look perpetually confused since my hairstyle changes just about everyday.
Having some natural curl, it's really easy to wear my wear my hair curly. I don't even need to do much, just slap on some wax, toss it about and i look like i
permed my hair. Haha. So much for it being difficult to maintain curly hair. Haha.
Worse of all, my hair color keeps fading. Fading is actually not the issue...its the way my hair color chooses to fade that really annoys me. I had
multi-colored hair (grey, purple, orange, blue and green) for a while until i dyed it a dark blue. Don't know how long it will last before i need to redo it all over again. Sigh. It's such a hassle really.
XxX,
audrey at 16:29
Saturday, March 05, 2005
cosmetic surgery?
I was walking down citylink tdy after wk when i saw this rather
skinny girl with really really big boobs. My immediate reaction was like "wow" ( i know, i have this rather weird habit of checking out other girls. Its more like checking out the competition than any lesbian festish so...) and my next thought was "must be implants".
Well, I'm not discriminating against the well-endowed (although i will admit that i
am rather jealous..how can i not be???), but seriously...how can someone so thin be so
big? Ok..maybe fiona xie and that margaret character in the police and thieves sitcom......
heaven is really unfair sometimes.
Pondering over this, i realised that a number of my friends are thinking of plastic surgery. Some want to fix their nose..others to have some bigger bumps on their personal airports...I'm not really against some "assistance" but sometimes ppl just overdo it. Like have really really sharp noses and cup C boobs. Hello?!! That is just so unrealistic. If u want to have fake stuff, at least get fake stuff that looks like the real thing.
Why have cosmetic surgery then let the whole world know that u've gotten some (or in some cases, alot) of help?
XxX,
audrey at 23:51
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
is the grass really greener on the other side?
I'm certainly in a melancholy mood today. My lousy mood probably has everything to do with stress (yes, my slacking has finally caught up with me. The deadlines are forming a noose around my neck!) and the fact that i spent another lonely (not to mention stressful) day at home tdy staring at the computer. It's pretty shitty to be faced with 5 papers to write, 2 tests the next day that u haven't studied..and unread readings for all your subjects for
the whole semester.
Believe me when i say i am overwhelmed, i really am. And yes, i know...it's my fault for procrastinating..but u needn't bang me over the head with that piece of information, u know.
Anyhow...here i am blogging instead of studying..which is very bad..and is just as effective as solving an algebriac equation by chewing bubblegum..but who cares? I failed my math in school all the time anyway..and look where it's gotten me?!
Speaking of which, i wish i studied law instead of info comm. God knows what can i do with my degree. Maybe i should take a cue from my secondary school friend's mom and just sleep on it. Damn it.
I had too much time on my hands this afternoon so a few random thoughts passed through my head. I started to wonder (and that's never a good sign. Prepare urself for the following onslaught of nonsense! Stop reading here if u can't take rubbish.) what life would be like
if :1)
I was so heart wrenching beautiful and tall and could earn millions by appearing on magazines wearing haute couture and looking stupid. Sigh. Everyone knows that good looking people have it so good. Guys fall over their feet trying to impress u...and that usually means free rides, free gifts..free everything. And you can have a model bf as well! Wow..how fun is that?? I mean, turn up the heat! Then i thought to myself..then the girls would all hate me (blame it on nature) for being so good looking and say the nastiest things about me. And everybody knows that guys can be such jerks at times so really, a girl is still a girl's best friend.
I then proceeded to my next fantasy...2)
All i need is the best boyfriend in the world. He would be smart, handsome, understanding, funny...yada yada...I would be so happy..(and not to mention the envy of the town) and i wouldn't have to quarrel and nobody would need to change..then i realised that i would probably end up feeling inferior and insecure all the time. Who wouldn't want such a great guy? Im more likely to spend all my time fending off vixens than enjoying him, so...Then after a while, i figured that everyone has their problems...and well, the grass isn't really greener on the otherside...
it's just the stupid little voice in your head telling you that it is. Besides, who needs grass anyway?
I'm certainly no fucking cow.
XxX,
audrey at 21:44