Monday, March 31, 2003
ok, third attempt at blogging...2nd attempt got deleted away when i clicked on the wrong "post" button. ah well...life! It happens.
Now, what was it that i was saying just now? ah yes, i was trying to decide on the tone to use on this bloggy thingy and after a little deliberation, decided to use whatever came most naturally to me. Which is..*drum roll*...a whiney style. Why? Its personal but not too personal..at least i hope i don't get too personal in my blogs. Can't be that good a thing to publish my dirty laundry online for the world to read. Anyway...
Recently, i learnt a lesson which (quite obviously since i am now writing it online) i would like to share with everybody (if anybody at all comes and reads my silly little musings). I learnt that we should always learn from a young age to know which truths to tell. And which truths that we choose to tell to be the whole truths. Now, i learnt in my introductory linguistics class that telling a lie can be a truth
at a same time. contradictory? Let me explain, for example, if i say that (to quote my lecturer) i was born in 1983 and am 16 years old. Apparently, i am not telling a lie, but neither am i telling a whole truth either. For one thing, i am definitely way past sweet 16 (neither do i really want to return to time when i was 16. Too busy worrying about my o levels!) but i had to be 16 before being 20. So to say that i am 16 years old is true, though not entirely. I digress.
To get back to my main point, we should always know which
whole truths to tell. Recently, my relationship with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years (ok, so we were on and off. But in total, its been about 2 1/2 years) nearly ended because i had been telling half truths. I guess to put it really
really bluntly, you could say that i had been lying. But i wasn't really lying, i just wasn't being totally honest. I am not denying that i was wrong to take our relationship for granted and compromising honesty for convenience. I
know i was wrong. Not only did my relationship nearly end, i made my bf and one other person really mad. I guess telling half-truths is the easy way out and being a Pisces (ya, just like me to blame it on astrology right? haha...) made it even worse.
I am not against people telling half truths, why, i think the world revolves around half-truths and blatant lies. Who would be so naive to imagine a world of truth? Not I. I certainly wouldn't want to live in one even if one existed. I think the truth is cold, brutal and painful. Now you know why my bf thinks i am coated with lies (yes lies, not honey). Of course i am NOT (read:NOT) saying that people should lie, i am just saying that i think it is(and has been) preferred alternative to the brutal slicing truth. Quite naturally so, don't you think?
I hope that you will not think that i am always prone to telling lies and that i am a liar after reading my so called confession. Actually, I consider myself to be quite honest. At least i am not hypocritical. That's the ultimate no-no. However, i must admit that i am prone to telling half-truths and little fibs to avoid confrontations and nasty stuff. If i learnt anything, i have learnt that sometimes we cannot hide behind the comforting mask of white lies and half-truths all the time. Especially if the pertaining issue is important. I also learnt that being completely honest in a relationship is
always the best. Even if it hurts someone badly and it makes you look really bad, it is for the best in the long run. Trust me,
i know.
XxX,
audrey at 21:13
Friday, March 28, 2003
Erm, hello..
Dun quite know what to write in my very first blog. Wonder if I'll become just as hooked onto blogging as people say I will...I wonder......Anyway, im not gonna put much up today, just a trial and error thingy...
XxX,
audrey at 22:12