Saturday, June 25, 2005

faux pas, anyone?

I don't think i am a confrontational nor argumentative person...from what i learnt from my last relationship..sometimes it's just better to just keep quiet and say nothing at all and let the matter pass. I guess the world would be a better place if all of us where mute. hahah...

There are all sorts of people in the world..and there are some who will always insist that they are right. ( btw, i still don't buy the idea that there are any absolutes in this world. I prefer my world to be in a shade of grey, thank you. Pure black and white is just to harsh and tiring for me.) My dad is one of those...whenever we have an argument, he will follow me throughout the house and nitpick at every single god-damned thing i say or have said...following which our argument will escalate into something much bigger and depart from the original issue in question. Which is pretty shitty since this just means that we argue continuously.

It should be a given that people say things that they don't mean at times. I understand that.. and so im generally quite forgiving when people commit a faux pas and ram their foot down their throats. Afterall, i know they dont mean what they just said because i know them.

Why nitpick? Nitpicking is so tiresome. I hate nitpicking...and generally rather tolerate an insult than go and correct every single wrong thing that has been said about me. This i learnt from my ex. He'd clam up at every "discussion"..and after a while, i just realised the pain in the ass was just really me.

Im in a new relationship now...i hope it's gonna better than the last.


Sometimes, i surprise even myself.

XxX,

audrey at 22:24

4 lamb droppings




Tuesday, June 21, 2005

in whom can we trust?

Read recently in the paper that this PRC woman was decapitated and her body was cut up and distributed all around Singapore by her lover...who (ahem.) happened to be married.

This just proves what i have suspected all along...you just can't trust men. Well, not totally at least.

Now see here. This guy has been married for a long time, has kids and a loving wife who sees him off to work everyday. But yet the poor, hapless wife had no idea her husband had been fucking around (literally) and cheating on her until he went and murdered the poor China girl.

It's quite amazing the fella could be so convincing on both sides...managing to keep up the "hao lao-gong" image while continuing to string along a girl half his age. Well, i gotta hand this one to him. I digress.

Like i said before, guys can be such two-faced jackasses. i speak from personal experience when i say a guy can whisper sweet-nothings but continue to be so sweet and caring and (can someone hand me the bucket now? I need to puke.) loving with his gf. And best of all, think that what he is doing isn't wrong.

**PUI**

So what's the bottom line?


Believe but always leave room for doubt.

XxX,

audrey at 01:16

2 lamb droppings




Thursday, June 16, 2005

bored bored bored.

omg...can i get any more bored at work? I finished everything i was supposed to do by 4pm..and have been slacking all the way since then. So therefore, im officially being paid to do nothing.

And guess what? im not the only one. Here comes jonathan. Wahaha...

I was so bored that i went to look at the pictures of my friends on friendster. And i just realised something...

we all try to look cute when we take pictures of ourselves using our handphones. And in fact, i do believe that quite a truckload of my friends (and maybe me as well) are narcissists.

Hah. So im not alone. :P

XxX,

audrey at 17:25

2 lamb droppings




Saturday, June 11, 2005

am i one sick fuck?

This has been, in the most understated way, one of the most interesting weeks i have had in a very long time.

I've come to the realization that being true to yourself is a very difficult thing to do indeed..as evident from the ramifications of one of my recent posts on fidelity. I get blasted for speaking my mind. Hmm....practicing self-censorship on my own blog??? What an interesting idea.

But before any argument escalates into anything bigger, i think it would be of note to say that i try not to pinpoint anyone in particular per se in my blogs. Perhaps some of my ideas are controversial and are morally wrong..and maybe i really am one big sick fuck, but what's that to you? Would you like to judge me? Okay, i guess.

Judgemental? I...?

Well, i'd like to think that i am less so than most other people. I'd also like to believe that i am generally more accepting of the idiosyncracies of others than most and I don't think i coerce my friends into suscribing to my beliefs. Generally, i'm quite happy to go along with masses..maybe to the extent that over-rides the common sense..or the moral norms.

Now, i don't really think there ever is a clear right or wrong about anything in this world. Yup, not even murder. Every murderer commited the crime for a reason..and of course in his/her mind, the reason will always justify the action. So really, it all just boils down to perspective.

Everyone will always think they are right...and in a way, yes, they are. So why should i disagree with them when they are not wrong? I would agree with them if i were in their shoes. But yet, if i agree that they are right (and which they are, from their perspective), does that mean i am a yes-woman and that i do not stand up for what i believe?

It's always easy to say you are right...but it's always harder to say that the other person is also right.

I don't want to judge people, but then again, everyone judges. Consciously or subconciously, we all judge. It's only human.

So if i offended you guys, im sorry but maybe it'd just be easier to not read my blog.

XxX,

audrey at 04:12

4 lamb droppings




Wednesday, June 08, 2005

work

i've decided that being stuck in the office is not fun at all...one of the most unfunnest things is to pretend to be busy when you have absolutely nothing to do at all. This can be relatively difficult when you boss sits behind u and there you are trying to msn and blog.

But hey! i did it.

And i cant wait to count down the hours.

XxX,

audrey at 17:40

0 lamb droppings




Monday, June 06, 2005

free?

I'm officially single now.

Surprisingly, im not as happy to be free as i thought i would be. Why?

Does that mean i still love him...or im unhappy because i just threw away my security blanket?

Two years isn't a very long time, but it's definitely been long enough to have made me cry.




Fuck.

XxX,

audrey at 01:37

2 lamb droppings