Friday, July 15, 2005

commitment phobe

Was talking to mich over dinner today...and somehow our conversation led to the conclusion that i am a closet commitment phobe. Wow..that's news.

Me? Afraid of commitment? Whoever heard of a girl being afraid of commitment? Not that im being sexist here...but isn't it usually the case that the girl is the one in the relationship that wants to get hitched real quick? Hmm...Well, i never considered myself as one (as i do not embrace singlehood willingly as you guys can well attest to) but you never know...

Anyway, this is how our conversation went...

M: Y'know..i think you and alvin could really make it..

A: Huh?! (eyes big with disbelief...note the fact that the two do not get along particularly well so this coming from mich is a real shocker.)

M: As in like married.

* I laugh uncontrollably for a minute*

A: WHAT?!! Married?! What the hell makes you say that?

M: Well, your parents like him well enough.

A: Er...so??? (there's no logical connection between the 2 sentences)

M: Well, he's acceptable.

A: (still not getting it at all) Erm, acceptable doesn't mean married, you know.

M: I think you suffer from commitment phobia.

A: WHAT?!!! (At this point, i started to think that the lack of sleep was really making mich delusional since there was link at all.)

M: You pick all the guys who you know can't work out as serious long-terms and are only good as distractions, flings and time-fillers whom you will never bring home. Think about it.

And i did.

And guess what? I think she's right.

In a really twisted and sick way, she's right. Seemed illogical at first, but the more i thought about it, the more it made sense. Afterall, I've never really hankered after the nice guys...and so far only had my heart broken only once (and i had as much part to play in its destruction so that one time doesn't really count either). And i'm the one who usually initiates the breakup..so yeah..in some really warped and crazy way...she's right.

Gosh...does this mean that i need more help than im getting or is mich just messing with my head as usual? Hmm...

XxX,

audrey at 01:01

0 lamb droppings