Wednesday, March 16, 2005

who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Sometimes, things you did in the past return to haunt you in ways unimaginable. Sometimes people who you think are mature turn out to be rather childish in reality. Sometimes, you regret. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you regret that you ever regretted. I certainly regret that i ever regretted a certain incident today.

Well, for those who managed to sneak a peak at my last post...lucky you. So now u know a little more about what's going on in my naughtly little head. After contemplating for a bit, i decided that deleting my last post would be a wiser move...it was a little too controversial. Besides, i don't really wanna to questioned day in day out on who is my favourite mystery person. enuff said.

To me, what is important, is to be able to live life to the fullest and honestly. What i post here may be the truth...or it could just be my random thoughts. Whatever it is, who are you, Mr anonymous, to judge me? I certainly do not judge you.

So, my dear mr anonymous...I certainly don't go around blabbing to your circle of friends and speculating what sort of taste you have to get married in 6 months...2 years after everything happened. Maybe you're desperate to settle down becuz u r lonely...and sad..and not because you really love that certain someone. Who knows? You wanna get married, get married. You wanna divorce, go ahead. Want a fling, be my guest. Wanna tell me how to live my life? First you have to be involved in my life. At least that's how it goes in my book.

This is my blog, and i will write whatever i want in it. Don't come and morally high-hand me. If there's one thing i can't stand, it would be people perched on their bloody moral high-horses. You are entitled to your view, and i am to mine.

True, certain things are best left alone. And i agree that we should respect the rights of others. But don't come and tell me what i should and shouldn't do. Nobody is perfect...and we should just live and fucking let live.

And more about love...

Well...I guess maybe i should have been born a man. All that self-sacrificing bullshit. Sigh. I just don't quite buy that anymore. Boy, do i sound jaded..After what i have seen...and been through...i know that every person is ultimately for him/herself. You'd be really lucky if you met that someone whom u can really unconditionally give up everything for...otherwise it's just touch and go.

When is enough enough? How much do you have to give before you know that that's the limit? Regret leaving him and thus live your life wondering all about the 'what ifs'? How about regreting wasting your time (youth, money and effort) on a stupid fucking bastard who totally does not deserve you?

Even Mr best-boyfriend-in-the-world can cheat on you. So can Mr prince charming and Mr do-no-wrong.

Why do i sound so bitter? I dunno. Disillusioned, maybe. Self-protect mode is "ON".

XxX,

audrey at 21:34

2 lamb droppings