Tuesday, May 13, 2003

hi people,

i was so bored today. i was stuck at home all day and as a result spent a good part of my afternoon sleeping. Now i can't get to sleep. Again. Great.

I hate being stuck at home, bored, lonely and out of cash. Actually, i think i hate the "out of cash" bit most cuz thats the main thing stopping me from going out and doing stuff. When will the economy pick up? I like so need a job right now. I can see my dreams of buying a Vespa floating away now..Sad.

Haha, yeah. I want to buy a Vespa. Why? Well, for starters, its really cheap. Would very much prefer a sports version but i think the monthly installments would totally kill me. Must be a little more practical. And besides, the bike looks small. Well, small enough for me. :)

I was just wondering, after a certain length of time, do two people stay together because:
1. they truly love each other
2. companionship
3. invested too much effort to let go ???

I just feel so out of love and completely unappreciated at the moment. I know i shouldn't be entertaining such self-pitying thoughts but i can't help it. When you have too much time to yourself and have been stuck at home all day, your thoughts just run wild. Sorry.

Anyway, i think only like 20% of the time, number 1 (truly love each other) is really true. I think most people stay together because they have merely become comfortable with each other and don't wish to break away from the comfort zone. I bet secretly everyone is thinking that there's somebody better out there for him/her. A boyfriend or girlfriend is just the thing you need to kill time. Why, which other individual would be at your beck and call all day (and night)? Call me cold-hearted, but at this point (i stress: at this point) i really feel that the couples i know merely use each other to fill up spaces in their day.

If you're offended by what you're reading, just take it that it's my "lonliness + bored the whole day" self speaking.

Oh, tomo is my third bike lesson. Just got a call from one of my girlfriend's who is also learning bike. Will be joining her for the lesson tomo and its her fifth attempt at practical one. Hmmz....riding isn't as easy as i thought. Well, at least not riding which is perfect accordance to traffic rules. Stupid rules. Nobody follows the rules anyway. From what i see, everyone puts their right leg down at the traffic lights anyway. Biggie.

Right, gonna read up on my theory now. Going to evaluation as well tomorrow. Ah, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow......

XxX,

audrey at 00:12

0 lamb droppings