Monday, May 19, 2003
Hi everyone,I just realised that I may have wasted several precious tears on a guy who totally is NOT worth them and who treated me and my feelings like trash. shit.
Don't bother wondering why I have suddenly come to this realisation because the story is too long and complicated to tell but I can tell you this, I feel much better now that I am past the sad and onto the disappointed/angry/betrayed stage.
Too bad I haven't learnt to how add music to my blog or else I would place the song in the background but there's this phrase in the song "Everybody's free to wear Sunscreen" by Baz Lurhmann (dunno if i got his name correct) that says " Don't be reckless with other people's hearts if you don't want them to be reckless with yours." While i have always agreed with that phrase and thought that i had been adhering to that hueristic, i realize now that i have been far from doing that. You should really take a listen to that song, it offers many nuggets of advice which on the surface are so obvious that it's funny, but in actuality, carry a serious message. Like my Philosophy prof. once said : "Don't try to sound profound. You'll just end up sounding pretentious and stupid. Aim for simplicity. You will naturally sound profound." Take a listen to the song and tell me what you think!
I digress. Anyway, the reason of all the recklessness and aggravation of the situation was that I was not being firm and sticking to my guns when i should have. It is really so difficult to be firm and say what you really feel when you know what you say will hurt someone else. I'm not sure if by this admission (that i don't say how i really feel) would result the classification of my character into the "weak" category but i am a firm believer in that words have the power to make or break a person. Perhaps I am, by nature, rather sensitive to the several nuances, undertones and implications of words, so I tend to hold back on my comments in fear of making a person feel bad but i guess many others simply blurt (literally) their mind out.
Moreover, the choice of words a person uses allows another to read greatly into one's thoughts and character. How so? I can't quite say it here..but essentially, I believe everyone has experienced making a decision on whether a particular person is nice or nasty based on what he/she said. Okaaay, (yeah, I admit) so this happening is more typical in girls than guys but still, it happens right? And everyone knows gossip spreads like wildfire.
Yada yada yada....anyway, im going to play tennis tomorrow. First time. :)))))))) Will come back tomorrow with an update of my tennis progress.